


New Year's Promise

by roxyeisen



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Extended Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-09
Updated: 2018-04-09
Packaged: 2019-04-20 18:09:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14266689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roxyeisen/pseuds/roxyeisen
Summary: Inside the thought process of Scully during Millennium's New Year's kiss.*The expressions on their faces before and after their first true kiss are rich in subtle language. It's always been interesting to me to try to guess what's going on their minds. This is what Scully might be thinking. Maybe I'll do Mulder's perspective at some point.





	New Year's Promise

I’ve been Mulder’s partner for seven years now. I like to think I’ve got him figured out. And then he does something that completely rewrites the book.

When you’re in close relationship with someone for that long, and you’ve been through so many life-altering, harrowing events basically holding each other up, you think you know where you stand. I’ve had seven years to paint a picture of Fox Mulder. Driven. Loner. Damaged. Brilliant. Funny. Protective. Distant.

But one thing I’ve come to believe is that he’s not interested in me romantically. Sure, he finds me attractive. I would have to be incredibly naïve not to sense the pull between the two of us. I can tell he likes looking at me. I like looking at him too. But for whatever reason he isn’t sharing, he hasn’t given in to those feelings. And knowing how fiercely he has avoided such entanglement, I can’t tell him how I feel. I would be devastated if I put him in a place where he had to reject me. 

But here it is, New Year’s Eve, and Mulder is changing the rules. We watch the ball drop with detached interest, just because it’s on the television and we are standing in the room. We might as well mark the moment. And when all the people in Time’s Square start kissing and hugging, I feel an awkward tension in the room. But we’ve felt that before. And only once did Mulder act on it. A bee ruined any chance I had of finding out where that would have gone.

I stare at the screen, smiling, trying to pretend I don’t notice the magnet-like quality of the moment. I’m pretty good at this by now. But I see him out of my peripheral vision and he’s moving toward me. I turn to see what kind of joke he’s playing, and that’s when I see the look on his face. He’s committed. He’s coming at me and the only way I can avoid this one is blatant rejection of him.

I’m definitely not interested in rejecting whatever is going to happen in this hospital waiting room. I hope the entire world isn’t watching, like they are the couples on TV, but even if they were, I’d still let him kiss me.

The first touch of his lips on mine brings a sensation sort of like an electric shock. My brain nearly explodes as it tries to both process and memorize what’s happening at the same time it’s completely shocked at the surreal nature of the moment. Mulder feels it too. He doesn’t overdo it and overwhelm both of us. He just lets his lips sit there on mine, soft and warm and inviting. 

I let him take the lead, because I trust him. I’ve always trusted Mulder with the reins of our relationship. I don’t know why. I guess I’ve just seen that he’s worth every bit of credit I give him. And I know very well he would die for me. So why not trust that he can see the right path for us? It may not be very feministic of me, and I’m not saying I would be this way with any man, but for Mulder and me, it works. 

It doesn’t last long. But longer than it would last if it was just a New Year’s peck with a close friend. It’s like he deliberately holds there until he’s sure I know that this isn’t just a friendly kiss. Like he’s making a statement in that language that only the two of us speak – a language with no need for words. 

What he does say is cryptic and clever in its double meaning. “The world didn’t end.” He smiles sheepishly, and his features reveal his curiosity. Like this was some sort of experiment that apparently went well. Or does he mean that the world should have ended for how long that kiss has been building? Is he disappointed with the lack of passion, or my response? Should I have taken some initiative?

I’m confused. I know my smile falters, and it makes his fall as well. Sometimes I wish our secret language wasn’t the only way we communicate. Sometimes I wish he’d just come out and say what’s on his mind.

"No it didn't," I agree.

We’re both a little embarrassed. I look away.

“Happy New Year, Scully,” he says, and I wonder if he wishes he hadn’t kissed me.

“Happy New Year, Mulder.” 

I feel his arm sneak around my back, and his hand rests on my shoulder. It makes me feel a little better. Like he’s saying that even if things start to change between us, even if we give in to this pull that only gets stronger by the day, he’s still going to be there. He’s not going to run away from whatever we are supposed to walk through together. I can count on him. This kiss was a promise, that things between us may be about to change, but that the important things will never change.


End file.
